One Year: Year One

September 13, 2013

one year

one  thanksgiving
where I couldn’t make pies by her side
but I made them anyway
and I quietly shunned the boxed stuffing

one holiday party
that I wanted to fill her shoes
make her breads and her soups
and I smiled because I could

one christmas
where we still hung five stockings
and george bailey had always been right
because I knew my angel got her wings

one night
where I couldn’t bring myself to focus
because all my heart could do was ache
but it was exactly what I needed

one birthday
that came and went
and all the hugs seemed a little tighter
because everyone was a little stronger

one mother’s day
with no cards or gifts or breakfasts in bed
but even then there was love
which is really what it always was

one prom
that when it came down to two dresses
I chose the yellow one
and she shined down on me for pictures

one dinnertime
where all I could feel was the difference
and frustration of unwanted silence
because we all needed her

one trip
where being homesick wasn’t the same
and coming home wouldn’t be either
but I still couldn’t wait to tell her everything

one picture
that I caught my dad working on
and I smiled against the lump in my throat
because I knew he was trying so hard

one party
where she broke the weather for us
so we could smile and laugh and cry
and I could write a poem

about one year

of family
of friends
of strangers
of love that never was lost
and memories that will never change

of tears
of joy
of pain
of strength I didn’t know I had
and grace that always found me

year one




16 Responses to “One Year: Year One”

  1. You are so amazing Erin! I love the way you write.

  2. Karen Says:

    Wow, One year, We were just speaking of you all and wondering how life was treating you. You brought a tear to my eyes with the thought of being homesick and how that must have felt. You girls and Dad will always be in our thought, always.

  3. british5 Says:

    Erin .. I am speechless. With tears in my eyes I thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings of how this past year has been for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as I promised my dear friend Ronnie. One year!

  4. Wendy Kenville Says:


  5. Betsy Says:

    Incredible. I think of her often and it’s always lifted up in yellow.

  6. A beautiful memorial and tribute to your mother and to you and your family and friends who love her. I won’t say it gets easier because it doesn’t; you will always have her in your mind and heart, and sometimes you will start at the intensity of the pain even after many years. But that is the mark of love, a branding that stings over and over to remind us that it was real. Best to you and your family! Keep the feelings flowing!

  7. Laura Says:

    Erin, beautifully done! Your mom is so proud of all of you.

  8. Jamie Hogan Says:

    Thank you, Erin, for a beautiful reflection. I feel her sacred touch on my life every day. For me, one year was marked with reflection on her music, her words, her spirit and a very special moment at sunset in the Dunes.
    love to you all.

  9. Judy Says:

    Your writing brought a tear of remembering to my eye. I’ve been thinking of her and you often this week. Going to the farmer’s market today. Think I’ll buy some sunflowers!

  10. Life is eternal! Only those worn out bodies leave us. That grace comes to you on angels wings.

  11. Jenna McCoy Says:

    What a beautiful tribute to the strength and grace that leads you from that beautiful angel that watches over you daily. She is clearly walking with you into that bright future ahead of you. Beautiful words spoken with a gracious heart. Never stop writing….you have a gift, you are a gift!

  12. Michele Renth Says:

    I love that you continue the legacy of your mother’s writing. I think of you all often and pray for peace for your family.

  13. Tish Chism Says:

    Very beautiful tribute to your mom. Thank you for continuing to share this journey with us! I don’t know you but through your mom’s writings, I feel like I do. God bless you all!

  14. Mama Says:

    Erin all I can say is my sweet daughter lives on because of you. You are your mother in every way. Her writings brought me to tears and yours do too. The only difference is my tears about what you write are because of how proud I am of you and tears from her writings were because I was so scared about loosing her. Your Mom passed on her talent of words to you and she blessed me with the honor of calling you my wonderful, sweet and gifted Grand-daughter.

  15. Carolyn Engel Says:

    Beatutiful words, Erin. Thank you for sharing your reflections with everyone. You are such a source of strength for your family. Your mom taught you well!

  16. Heather Says:

    Beautiful post, Erin. I’m Heather and I just have a quick question about your blog that I was hoping you could answer 🙂 My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com

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