kids rock cancer

February 18, 2012

I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009. At that time my entire family, including my children rallied around me and we were all determined to beat cancer. I endured surgery followed by twelve rounds of chemo over a six month period of time and for a while, we all thought we had won the battle.

Unfortunately I suffered a recurrence near the end of 2010. This meant more surgery, chemo and this time radiation. But even that was not enough to stop the cancer. I am now stage IV with metastasis to the lungs. I had to tell my children that even though we all put up a good fight, this disease will eventually take my life. As a mother that was the most difficult conversation I have ever had with my children.

When my twins, Mattie and Allie got the opportunity to participate in Kids Rock Cancer, sponsored by Maryville University, I was very pleased. My main concern, when I knew my situation was terminal, was for my girls. How will they cope, I worried. Mattie and Allie were immediately put at ease with Tracie, the music therapist. She seemed to connect with the girls right away. While Tracie, Mattie and Allie were engaged in the therapy session, I went to a local coffee shop. As I sipped my coffee, I counted the Kids Rock Cancer program among my blessings. I felt deeply grateful to have the program and a music therapist there to help my girls work through their feelings.

I was not allowed to hear the song the girls had written right away. The girls had decided their song would make a perfect Christmas gift for me. So a few weeks later, on a very cold evening right before Christmas, my girls and I were invited to Shock City Studios where they would record their song and I would hear it for the first time. No words can describe what I felt in that moment when I first heard what they had written. Tears ran down my face as I listened to the lyrics. It was a beautiful song about love and strength, about never giving up and most importantly about how I had always been there for them, it was now time for the girls to be there for me. These were the words I needed to hear.

We will be strong together forever
No matter what the future brings
We’re not gonna give up
We will always, always remember you
And nothing will bring us down

When a mother is faced with leaving her children too early, her only concern is the well-being of her children. How will they cope? Will they be strong? Will they continue to succeed and to grow to achieve all they are capable of achieving. Through our participation in the Kids Rock Cancer program, and many conversations shared with my daughters since, the answers to these questions are becoming more clear. They will be strong. They will never give up. My mind and my heart are a little more at ease.

Thank you Kids Rock Cancer. Thank you Mattie and Allie.


Hope
By Mattie Gaubatz and Allie Gaubatz. (listen)

We will never lose hope

We will be strong together forever
No matter what the future brings
We’re not gonna give up
We will always, always remember you
And nothing will bring us down

We never thought it would go this far
We don’t understand why it had to be you
We are so much closer now
We’ll help you be strong
In the battles you’ll go through

We will never lose hope
We will be strong together forever
No matter what the future brings
We’re not gonna give up
We will always, always remember you
And nothing will bring us down

You always think of us
You’re a fighter and you never quit
Through all the pain you’re still fun to be around
And we love to see you smile
You’ve always been there for us
Now it’s time for us to be there for you

We will never lose hope
We will be strong together forever
No matter what the future brings
We’re not gonna give up
We will always, always remember you
And nothing will bring us down

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8 Responses to “kids rock cancer”

  1. Donna Spier Says:

    I have no words Ronnie….just love for you and your family.

  2. Jamie Hogan Says:

    Rock on, beautiful!

  3. Michelle Lindsay Says:

    What a beautiful song and such a strong family!

  4. Wendy Kenville Says:

    Thank you for sharing the beautiful words your daughters wrote…you have obviously raised amazing, strong young women. You are blessed!

  5. Betsy Happel Says:

    And it’s even more precious when you hear them sing the words. What a blessing! Thank you for sharing.


  6. Thank you Ronnie for continuing to document your story. You are an amazing force in this world. Just know that your spirit will endure in our hearts and minds forever. Stay strong.

  7. Tammy Chamblee Says:

    So beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your family and story with us. You inspire me! Your family inspires me!


  8. Ronnie, I’m thinking of you and your family often…all the time. All my love and strength to you and your girls.


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