i am sorry

December 8, 2011

I can not be who you think I am
only because that is how you remember me
Even if it were to save the house

I remember too that way I used to be, and I’ll admit
It was fun to be that again
because it made me feel young
strong, irreverent and carefree
It helped me to forget
that I am dying

But I can’t hurt people
Who love me today
and I can’t set that example
for those who will go looking
when someday they are
trying hard to remember
what I was like
as a person

I raised some hell
back then, I did
Sparks on the ground
like when a muffler drags
and I have no regrets
except that I tried to go back
and in doing so I hurt people who
trusted me

How do I want to be remembered
hard to say, when I have lost myself
entirely in this grief
and I barely recognize the ghost
in the mirror

But who I used to be
can’t be who I am today
because I don’t have enough time
left, to make anything up
to anyone, should I need to
say, I am sorry

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3 Responses to “i am sorry”

  1. keri Says:

    You are a beautiful woman to all who know and appreciate you…past, present and future.

  2. Betsy Happel Says:

    Amen. And Amen. And Amen. Did I mention, “Amen”? And as we will reflect upon this Sunday, God is never done working in and through us.

  3. Kim Mosley Says:

    It is only a human being that can become a buddha, and it the buddha within us is not that perfect god that we sometimes strive to be, but rather the person we really are. You are perfect just as you are. Thanks!


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