Personal Orbit

April 3, 2009

I have an orbit. So does everyone else in my life. My orbit is oblong, more so than the others I think. My orbit occasionally swings way out from the other planets in my life. Sometimes, I just need to be on the other side of the universe. That’s what I call the far side. I like the far side. I need the far side. I know that sooner or later I’ll return to the cozy comfort of being close to everyone else, but for a few mental light years, I am here, alone in my own private space, my own dark corner of an otherwise busy life. I am not physically away. I still go to work, make dinner, help with homework, but I am mentally elsewhere exploring my own personal landscape. On the far side of my orbit I escape the gravitational pull of the other planets, I’m lighter, I’m free. I enjoy the stillness and savor the lonely quiet. I don’t understand people who are afraid of being alone, who seem to have a need to fill every moment with some type of relationship. I have no such need.

Because I understand the nature of my orbit, I know that this desire to break away, to be still, alone, quiet, won’t last forever. I savor every moment. I look out the window of the cockpit, down on my personal planet with the same wonder and awe the astronauts must feel circling Mother Earth. For me it is an emotional reset button, a time-out, a relationship field trip. I’ve granted myself permission to turn off, tune out and try something else for a while. I dream. I plan. I analyze. I fantasize. I make love. I evaluate. I dare myself to stay here forever. Ground control to Major Ronnie. Sometimes the others worry, I am sure. And then, quite naturally, the northern lights appear on the horizon and one of the other planets reach out to me in a way that sets the course back toward home. The journey is wonderful and the destination cyclical. I enjoy my orbit.

Do you have an orbit? Are you exploring your universe?

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