a letter from me

June 24, 2012

me and my daughters

I love to cook, especially so, when the girls are in the kitchen with me. They are cooks and connoisseurs of good food. I am proud of them for that. Our family shares dinner together every night around our dinner table. There are no cellphones, the TV is off and we are unlikely to answer the door. Those who know us won’t ring the doorbell anyway. They will walk right in, and one of us will set a plate for them and invite them to sit, eat, join the conversation. The kitchen and the dinner table are the heart of our home. It is the place where we reconnect after a day at school, at work, or at chemotherapy. It is a time to share dreams, ideas and, yes sometimes gossip. I especially enjoy the gossip as 7th grade is a tsunami of goings on.

If I’ve bake bread that day, the whole house still smells of warm bread when after dinner we gather around the fireplace. There the girls do there homework or we play cards or stage wii bowling contests or Connect Four (the low tech, plastic version). The dogs keep watch for deer who run along our back yard. A wild fit of barking means one of us has to excuse our self from the game to let them race out the door to do their doggie duties, protecting the house and pooping where you won’t get spanked.

Our home is an ordinary place where extraordinary things happen. Three little girls have almost grown up in this home. I am proud to say that now with two, Mattie and Allie, in the seventh grade and the oldest, Erin, a sophomore, they are all on honor roll and are blossoming into smart beautiful women. Although we have been told by my doctors something contrary, I pray I will be blessed with good health long enough to see them graduate.

It is a real possibility however, that I will not live long enough to see this milestone, and so many others, down the road. I have told the girls, likely while cuddled up near the fire after dinner, that no matter what the future brings, I will always be with them, in their hearts, and in our home. Together we have cooked and shared many meals in this home. After I am gone, I want them to know I am with them, watching them, make the bread, preparing the meal, talking and cuddling by the fireplace. Life will go on, and I more than anything I want them have this home and all of the love and magic inside of it, to grieve, to talk, to sit quietly, to share meals, and to take comfort. I want them to cook in our kitchen, with their daughters someday. And I will be there on those days day too, watching over all of those who hold my heart.

A trust fund has been set up to help Doug and the girls stay in our home after I pass away. To say that I am grateful and thankful and blessed for all that people have done to help with this fund and the fundraisers is simply not enough. Mere words can not express what it means to me that my family will be able to keep our home, that the girls will not have to first lose their mother and then lose their home.

I thank every person who has helped or can help in this effort. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is my dream that our home remain our home. It is the only thing I really worry about of late. I thank each of you for making this dream come true, by donation or prayer or just spreading the word. My gratitude runs deep, my heart is lifted and my sincere and profound sense of love that I receive for all who have taken on this cause is a true gift. There are good people in the world. I am blessed to know many of them.

Ronnie

More information on the fund set up called Rally For Ronnie can be found here:
www.rallyforronnie.org

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3 Responses to “a letter from me”

  1. Betsy Happel Says:

    What a gift that your family is creating memories around the dinner table…which so many other families are unable to do, or fail to do. I can smell the bread baking now. :)

  2. Michelle R. Mizerak Says:

    My name is Michelle & last August, two weeks past my 38th birthday, I was diagnosed with stage IIb, grade III, triple-negative breast cancer. In April, I wrapped up 8 rounds of dose-dense A/C/T followed by 35 rads & am still in the “hurry up & wait” phase of seeing if we were successful.

    I will keep you & your beautiful family in my prayers & can only hope that whatever this path holds for me, I can remain as graceful & strong as this amazing woman I learned of recently…a woman named Ronnie.

  3. Dee Says:

    I lost my 23yr old daughter to breast cancer last week 6/22. I am so sorry for the news you received. so nice you could all talk about it… best wishes to you all.


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